What if it All Means Something
by justaclassicgirl
Summary: NOW COMPLETE! Jess is confused as to what all these events that have come to pass mean to Nick, because he won't tell her. Takes place shortly after "First Date", maybe a day or two after. Based on the Chantal Kreviazuk song of the same name.
1. Chapter 1

Another New Girl fic! :D

This one takes place before Virigns, probably somewhere after First Date.

And it's full of angst.

Based on the song "What if it All Means Something" by Chantal Kreviazuk, which you've probably heard but don't know it by name. Look it up, cause it's good.

~justaclassicgirl

* * *

As she sat on her bed, pretending to read a book, Jess realized that she just wasn't sure where she and Nick stood at this point.

Everything was so crazy, after their completely bombed first date, and before that, the almost-sex on the dinner table, and even as far back as their very first kiss on the night of Strip True American.

And yet, after all these instances, it was just so _hard_ for her to tell whether or not they all _meant_ something, for one simple reason:

He blatantly refused to share his feelings.

And if he couldn't do that, there was no way of her knowing if this entire thing was just something entirely brought on by hormones on both parts or if this was real.

If this meant love.

How would she, no, how would _they_ be able to proceed with this whole affair if he couldn't tell her?

She wanted to know how he felt about her, honestly, truthfully, without any fanfare, bells and whistles, or strings attached. She wanted to know. She _yearned_ to know.

Jess would do anything, go anywhere, be anyone for Nick. She really, truly would. And he knew that, she knew he did. She was here for him, through thick and thin. So why couldn't he just do the one thing she needed him to?

Then again, she supposed she couldn't be expected to understand. After all, Jess never had trouble expressing her feelings. Her (late) feeling stick should have shown that. But Nick Miller was a different creature entirely.

Nick Miller was a grumpy, grumbling, rugged, reserved, flannel-clad, turtle-faced man. And some days, she still couldn't wrap her head around him.

But it didn't change the fact that she was utterly, madly, completely in love with him.

And if he didn't feel the same, well, at least she'd know, wouldn't she? And she would try her hardest to get over her broken heart.

However, there was an equally large chance that he did feel the same, that his affection matched hers. And if she could just tap into that, get a little look inside, then perhaps they would be ready for something more.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

* * *

"Jess?"

Silence.

"Jess, I know you can hear me."

A page turns.

"I know you're not really reading, Jess."

A book slams shut.

"Jess, listen. Just open the door. Please."

More silence.

"Fine. Well, I have something to tell you, Jess, and it's very important...and it's also not an easy thing for me to say, and I'd rather do it face-to-face, but since you're insisting on it being this way, then I guess it'll have to be this way."

The door opens.

* * *

So, how was that? Review please! And I'm open to suggestions on whether I should leave it as-is or make it a multichap. I'd be happy to do either one.


	2. Chapter 2

By popular demand, I made this a multichapter. This one's from Nick's POV.

One more chapter to come, probably.

~justaclassicgirl

* * *

Nick stood there, before Jess's door, his hand poised to knock.

Then, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple, he spun around on his heel and marched straight back into his room, whereupon he collapsed on his bed, cradled his head in his hands, and wondered whether he was making a big mistake.

Nick Miller was not a man of feelings. That just wasn't how he rolled. Feelings were something he'd kept suppressed for most of his life, as he had to push aside his own so he could take care of his family and be the man of the house when his father wasn't there.

Which was most of the time.

He wasn't cold-hearted. Certainly not. He could tell that from the warm, bubbly feeling that rose in his chest whenever Jess looked at him a certain way. If his heart was as cold as some proclaimed it to be, then he would never feel as if someone turned the thermostat to 90 degrees whenever he was around her.

But no one had ever asked about his feelings. They probably just assumed that he didn't want to talk about it and let him be, but he never spoke what he felt because he thought no one cared.

And to encounter Jess, practically the goddess of feelings, who asked after his feelings a number of times a day, was quite a shock.

It was a shock having someone who cared for HIM, who looked after HIM.

That was partially why he would snap whenever she insisted that he take a vitamin or eat a salad or drink one of her crazy medicinal teas. He wasn't used to this.

Nick's mind wandered to their most recent encounter, their completely atrocious first date. Could that mess even be called a date? Nevertheless, before it, he had felt some of those butterflies in his stomach and the nervousness he had had the night he lost his "flower," as Jess may have put it. He had felt THAT. And secretly, he had hoped she felt that too.

But when he reached the hot dog stand where she was waiting for him, it became apparent that she hadn't felt that way before the date.

Probably because of the horrendous, exceedingly UN-romantic way in which he had asked her.

It was that damn towel! It was too damn wet, and clingy, and indicating-of-a-shower-y. And showers meant naked. And naked meant naked Jess. And naked Jess meant...

Well, what did it mean?

And then, it hit him.

The reason she'd been avoiding him had been the same reason he'd gotten so frustrated with her at Cece's marriage convention.

He couldn't admit that any or all of their romantic encounters had meant something.

Or WHAT they'd meant.

To him.

Nick rolled over on the bed a couple times and groaned. Did this mean he had to tell her, tell JESS, the feelings goddess, how he FELT?

Damn, this was going to be hard.

* * *

And presently, there stood Nick again, before Jess's door again, his hand poised to knock.

Again.

Quickly, he went over his pre-rehearsed speech in his head, and strengthened his resolve that no matter if she was wearing a towel or a onesie, he would stand his ground. He would not run away. He would not stumble over his words. He would not confuse any meanings.

Not this time.

And Nick brought his fist down on the wood of Jess's door.

* * *

"Jess?"

Silence.

"Jess, I know you can hear me."

A page turns.

"I know you're not really reading, Jess."

A book slams shut.

"Jess, listen. Just open the door. Please."

More silence.

"Fine. Well, I have something to tell you, Jess, and it's very important...and it's also not an easy thing for me to say, and I'd rather do it face-to-face, but since you're insisting on it being this way, then I guess it'll have to be this way."

The door opens.

* * *

And now we've come full-circle.

Next chapter will be the actual encounter between the two.


	3. Chapter 3

And here it is, the last chapter.

(sigh)

I wish I could be this fast and productive on my other stories.

Oh well. C'est la vie.

~justaclassicgirl

* * *

Nick could have died from relief.

She was NOT wearing anything skimpy.

Jess's raven hair was tousled gently, and puffing out in places it seemed it shouldn't. Her cerulean oceans of eyes blinked once, twice, trying to clear something (tears?) from them. They were red-rimmed and had bags beneath them. Her pale cheeks were a tad flushed, and he could just barely make out the faintest outline of tear tracks on them. And the rest of her was wrapped in a giant fluffy quilt, completely obscuring her (perfect!) figure.

In an instant, from looking at her, Nick felt terrible. He had done this to her. It was his fault.

"You had something to say?" she said icily, but there was a small waver in her voice.

Nick took that waver, that little piece of vulnerability, that little piece of hope, and grabbed it tightly. He had a chance.

"Well, first of all, I'm sorry," he said softly.

She didn't say anything, but her interest was definitely piqued. After a few minutes of silence, she murmured, "For what?"

"For not telling you how I feel, for not being honest with you, for leading you on without being sure where I'm even going, for sending mixed messages, for that awful date and the equally awful way I asked you, for not taking the chance I had that night with the fish tank, for Shane, for Sam, for everything," he said, breathing hard.

Jess stared up at him. Had he, grumpy, turtle-faced Nick Miller, spoken from the heart?

Wait. He wasn't finished yet.

"But most of all, I'm sorry that I waited for so long."

Now he was done, at least she thought so. Now it was her move.

As she looked up at him, thinking of what to say, she realized she could no longer see him as clearly. It was like looking up from underwater.

She knew at that moment that she must be crying.

A tear slipped down her cheek.

"Oh, Jess..."

He put his arms around her and drew her in close, quilt and all. She gripped his shirt tightly in her fists, shaking with the force of trying to hold back the waterworks.

Since clearly she wasn't going to say anything, he started the ball rolling again.

"Jessica Day, from the moment I set eyes on you, I knew you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Even if I didn't know it at the time, I wanted you from the start. It hurt to see you with other guys. It hurt to watch you cry when your heart was broken. But it hurt more than anything to see you cry from something I did, because the thought of hurting you was more than I could stand. I've never felt this way before, about anyone, not even Caroline. And..."

He paused.

She didn't move, but managed to whisper shakily, "What is it?"

"And I think I'm in love with you."

That did it. The dam had burst.

Jess let it all go.

The tears began to flow, the sobs pushing out of her mouth as if they couldn't move fast enough. Her body shook, wracked with emotion. She had never cried this much in her whole entire life, not even over Spencer.

Nick was slightly alarmed, but he was a bit reassured when she pulled him closer to her and continued to cry, overwhelmed with emotion. He lowered his mouth and kissed the top of her head gently, and murmured into her hair,

"I love you, Jess. I love you."

Over and over again.

Rocking her gently, whispering softly.

_"I love you."_

And finally, when her breathing had slowed, when she was moderately calm, she looked up and met his even gaze. He was surprised to see her eyes shining with happiness.

Jess parted her lips just the slightest and allowed the words to slip out of them as if they were butter.

_"I love you."_

The pure, unbridled joy that filled Nick's eyes was amazing. She had never seen him like this before.

And then, he slowly brought his lips down to meet hers, and she met him halfway.

And they used this kiss to express all they felt for each other that could not be put into words.

* * *

"I love you."

* * *

The End

* * *

So, what did you think? Good? Bad? Please review.


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